Comparing

I can clearly remember being 2 to 3 years into a serious relationship with the woman who later became my wife. I remember the urging from her and the mounting pressure that was placed on me from her friends and co-workers about when we were going to get married. It seemed like everyone around us was either getting married or at least engaged during those moments.

The urging became so strong that it eventually came from her as well. I was completely freaked out to say the least and I realized that the urge to get married at the age of 21 was much more about comparing than it was about God’s timing. The weddings came and went and we waited for five years until we were engaged.

By the time we were married almost every one of our friends were purchasing their first homes while we lived in an apartment for a year. After a year of throwing money away at an apartment we eventually moved in with her parents to save for a house. Eventually we achieved our goal and moved into our very first house together.

While we were moving into our first home almost every one of our friends were pregnant with their first child. I felt as though we were always one step behind the rest of the pack. I have to admit that jealously crept up within me and I became bitter and envious for more all the while I was falling victim to comparing.

At the age of 26 with our first children (twins!) on the way I have come to the realization that God has always given me more than what I deserve when I truly need it and not a second before I am ready to receive it. I am humbled and amazed by his generosity and timing. Comparing about your house, relationship and ability to raise a family to others is foolish because your story is already written and it is unique and from anyone else’s.

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