An Honest Stepparent

One of the most difficult things I have ever experienced is being a stepmom. I know that may seem brutally honest but for any of you that are a stepparent or know a stepparent it may not seem so extremely honest.  I recently had the privilege of speaking for MarriageToday on blended families and I wanted to share some of my information in hopes that it could help any fellow stepparent.

  1. According to Jimmy Evans once you say, “I do” your original wisdom about, or lack thereof, this family is irrelevant.  Sometimes when times get tough, whether you are or are not a stepparent, it is easy to want to question your initial decision to get married in the first place. This is exactly what the enemy would want you to do. Marriage is not an option. It isn’t like a car that you just trade in, it is forever, and if we want to leave a lasting legacy for our children it is important that we treat it that way.
  2. As a stepparent it is essential that you do not allow yourself to become jealous of your step-children. Some stepparents struggle with jealousy. This is normal but not something that you can entertain for long. Marriage comes first, kids second. This is difficult for some people to accept but if this order is backwards it will be difficult for your marriage to succeed. No one enters into a marriage to be made to feel second best.
  3. Divorce doesn’t end family life, it reorganizes it (Ron Deal)  It is easy to feel like your life has been completely destroyed through a divorce but really what is happening is reorganization. Once you are remarried the reorganization process really begins.

Being a stepparent isn’t easy but in our society it has become more common. It is important that we hold on to our marriages and hold on to the hope of a brighter future. We have to fight for our freedom, for our marriages, and for our children and stepchildren.