Lately I have been seeing a lot of teenagers coming into the office with their parents. I absolutely love this age group, I think they are the most misunderstood, misrepresented age group, yet they are some of the most amazing individuals I have the opportunity of helping. I wanted to give you a few tips for effectively communicating with a teenager in your life.

1. Understand that they have something to say.

So many teens are misunderstood. People think that they are immature and unwise. Some teens are, but the majority of those I encounter actually teach me something. Teens are not able to live independently but they do have a mind of their own. They have ideas, dreams, visions, and the capability to see things from an adult perspective. Keep this in mind when communicating with them, they are only mere years away from actual adulthood.

2. Don’t let their decisions define their character.

One of my least favorite things is when a teenager is defined by what they do instead of who they truly are. As parents (or whoever you may be to a teen) it is our responsibility to allow them to be seen. We need to see who they are not what they do. Many teens make mistakes, but I bet if you thought back to your own teen years, you could find a few mistakes of your own. Mistakes help us grow, learn, and be better. Don’t let mistakes define the future of your teen. Speak life and call out the truth in your teen, not the behavioral mistakes that are so limiting.

3. Don’t live vicariously through them.

This may sound strange but many parents find their own identity in their teen, whether good or bad. They seem to allow themselves to be defined by the choices they do or don’t make, as well as allow their own identity to be affected as a result. There may be things that you wish or dream for your teen. Explain those things to your teen but don’t allow yourself to become overly invested, that always leads to disappointment and resentment. Ask your guts who your teen is meant to be. Allow yourself to see that, as opposed, to what their behavior means to you. It is essential that you are free from your past wounds in order to prevent your teen from experiencing current ones.

Teens are spectacular. They do have a lot of wisdom, not to mention, teach me about the latest trends. If we allow ourselves to be free and face our own disappointments, we allow our teens to do the same. We then have a hand in creating the next generation of greatness, as opposed to creating individuals who bear wounds, scars, and disappointments of their own. If you have a teen in need, or maybe you are ready to dive into your own root healing, feel free to contact our office.