Sometimes as a counselor I feel that people expect me to have it all together. I wish I could say that I was exempt from disagreements with my husband, financial stress, friend drama, and just overall life issues, but I am not. I am actually quite honest about the struggles I have when meeting with my clients because I want them to know I am human and not exempt from life. I feel that my ability to be transparent is one of the things that have allowed me to be successful as a therapist. I am quite honest with clients that I have my own counselor and that I am always willing to schedule a meeting with her when I find myself in a bind or facing a situation that needs some objective guidance.
One of the biggest mistakes we can make as people is the pretending that we are perfect. I understand this is counter to our culture because society is always telling us to present ourselves as having it all together. I feel that this doesn’t allow for vulnerability, transparency, and genuineness. I feel that all three of these things are what makes room for healing, truth, and wellness. I also believe these things make room for connectedness, friendship, and solid relationships. There are a lot of positive things that can result from our ability to be transparent and vulnerable.
One of my life mottos is that what we allow to live in the dark will keep us from having authority over our lives in the light. It is essential that we allow ourselves the ability to admit when we are failing, falling, and just need someone to help us out. So what should you do?
- Share your story and share your struggle
- Find those you can be transparent with and make time to spend with them
- Use the transparency for change
- Embrace the fact that no one is perfect, no matter how things may “appear”
- Find yourself someone objective to talk to if you can’t find that in your friends (a counselor like me)
I know that God’s best for us is living our lives in transparency and vulnerability to those He has placed around us. Ask Him who your safe friends are. Ask Him to show you areas of your life that need to be brought to the light. He is so gracious and so kind to bring healing right when we need it.