Powerless Emotions

I have been re-reading the book Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk along with the amazing students I teach in my Marriage and Family Therapy class at The King’s University. Although I have read this book previously, while reading it this time I feel like I have gained a great new revelation about emotions and of course, I want to share it with you.

It is important to understand that it is entirely possible for two people to each have valid emotions about the same event. It is ok for two people to feel, regardless of the congruence of the feelings. This really hit me. The book discusses the value of emotions and how there is room for emotions when two powerful people communicate.

To be very honest, this is something that I need to work on myself which is probably why the revelation was so profound for me. I have been known (especially with my husband) to not allow other people to feel what they need to feel in a circumstance where I might have strong emotions. This isn’t ok. This isn’t fair. This isn’t God’s design. We are designed to feel but if we deny ourselves or someone else the ability to feel it creates a hierarchy in relationship that is difficult to overcome.

In my marriage I didn’t allow James the opportunity to have feelings or strong emotions if I too was experiencing strong emotions. You can imagine how stifled he must have felt in the numerous situations where he was cut off at the knees emotionally.

Thank goodness for the revelation of the Holy Spirit and a gracious husband. While I am not perfect, I am working on making room for not only my emotion, but for the emotion of others. It isn’t fair for me to take up so much emotional space. Frankly it is a very powerless move. If I have learned anything from this book and just living life, it is that I want to be an emotionally powerful person. I want to possess the skills necessary to effectively communicate and share the emotional space.

Are you good at sharing emotional space? Like me, do your emotions take up too much room at times? Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the truth. He will also show you just what to do to fix it if you ask.

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